Fraternity Blues

[Verse 1] I decided to improve my social station I joined a fraternal organization Tucked in my shirt Signed on the line Right away they set about to improve my mind The car I drove The books I read The food I ate The booze I drank The girls I took out My breath [Verse 2] Said "Kid, we don't much like the way you walk And you gonna have to change the way you talk" They said "Your dress is kind of slouchy And your attitude is mighty grouchy" Said "You got to learn to bubble You got to bubble with enthusiasm" I started to bubble [Verse 3] "Most important thing you can't forget Is learning the entire Greek alphabet" I never did really understand That that's gonna make me anymore a man But I learned it I can whip through that son-of-a-beta backwards in five seconds [Verse 4] Then they hit me with some pretty bad news Concerning the payment of monthly dues I never did know where that money went And I never was sure it was real well spent But I paid it I'm no trouble causer and besides I figured that's life If you want good friends they're gonna cost you [Verse 5] Well, finally got to be party time I got a great big old jug of wine I went back to the house in about an hour And everybody's drinking whiskey sours Brandy Alexanders Frozen daiquiris Reciting the Greek alphabet to one another [Verse 6] I could see I was gonna have to do my very best To get myself out of that fraternity mess I stood right there outside the door And I chugged that wine like never before Walked inside and bubbled All over a couple of their dates [Verse 7] So now everything's back to normal again But there is still lots of room for improvement my friend Of course that fraternity stuff is too much for me Next time I'm gonna join a sorority Really get me something to bubble about